1. Keeping your body healthy
No sense in snogging down all those sweets or drowning your feelings with alcohol. Also, if you have habits like smoking or drugs stop. Why? It stresses you body out more and you'll get sick. Imagine the worst day of your life then being sick on top of that. It makes for one miserable being who will pass that misery onto some poor unsuspecting person. So eat healthy foods that support digestion because chances are stress will screw your eating and sleeping pattern. For foods look to nutrient dense foods that ground and center you. Not junk food! No amount of chips or chocolate is going to cure a stressful life event! As for sleep, relaxation music, a good soak, sniffing some therapeutic oils, soaking your feet, looking or being around beautiful things, and teas that calms the nerves (chamomile and linden blossom are my favorite).
2. Find someone who cares to rant about it
Bottling up emotions is never a good idea especially true for divorce. You are sad or pissed acknowledge it so that it doesn't later come out in court should you go to court. If you don't have a trusted friend or another family member pick up some expressive hobbies. You can write, blog, throw darts at said exes face, etc...something that expresses overwhelming feelings without resorting to breaking the law or harming of the self or others. No one needs jail time on top of divorce. If you have the funds seek professionals that can help you with the healing process. Just get the feelings out of your system.
3. Get on with it
Meaning don't dwell on it by doing nothing. The feelings worsen if you don't continue with your routine in life. Divorce can be an upsetting time, but we all have other obligations. No use in crying over spilled milk. Divorce happens. Staying in our room moping and feeling sorry is never going to resolve the pending bills and fees involved. So have a good cry or a scream, but don't drag it out. You will survive trust me. A routine or continuing a routine can add some stability to a hectic life.
4. Don't forget the kids
Children are perceptive little things so do be careful about emotional outbursts or ugly rantings about said ex-spouse. Remember that your ex-spouse is still a parent to your child and dragging them in the middle is never wise. Children learn to cope with life through us and if you feel you can't really help them then don't be afraid to ask for help. Answer any questions they have about why this is happening and be mindful of their age. As I've said before, I'm an adult going through my parents divorce so I have the compass to deal with it though children are a little bit more helpless. Don't be too alarm when your kid starts acting out in school or misbehaving in general after a divorce. You can get together with them and do various activities to help them along and it will help you to.
5. Do what you gotta do to get the divorce in order
Don't neglect court dates or the necessary paperwork. Avoid getting a lawyer when you can but in the case of an ugly divorce I don't know what I can really say. This doesn't need to get bigger if you don't want it to. Oh, it can get pretty messy because lawyers like to sometimes stir the pot with things like who is in the wrong which if you take the bait just gives them more opportunities to keep charging.
6. Oh the custody battles...
One of the hardest things to troubleshoot. Divorce is one of the most selfish things that parents can do (sometimes though it is only for the best). Why is it selfish? It is basically ripping lives apart especially your children's. If they are too young to understand that is better but if they are oh boy. Custody battles should be for the children's own good. Keep in mind that it shouldn't be a power struggle or about how you two can't get along. It should be about what is best for them from housing to school. The children should be made to feel that they are still protected and not abandoned by either parents.
7. Don't rush into new relationships!
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Understand that divorce takes time to heal. You need to become stable within yourself before entering a new relationship because chances are if you are not ready you will just create havoc for yourself or your children. No one can save us from our own inner demons and it does a world of good to reflect on ourselves. An idea would be to throw a celebration about being single again. When we celebrate it we make something negative into positive. Order a cake congratulating yourself on your new found freedom.
Final words on this: The world keeps spinning and things will go on. If you place yourself in the grand scheme of things you will know that this moment that seems so horrendous will be only a tiny speck. When you see that this isn't so big you will likely make it through and come out all the better. Just think that you can survive and you will. This moment shall pass and your future is for you to decide. Divorce is a new beginning; a new way of being!
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