Desperation...now I know what it feels like...

I should not joke like this but I think I may know what crack addicts feel like. No I am not a drug addict, but I understand the desperation. For all the tough situations in life I wonder how anyone stays sane? I mean for me my responsibilities aren't that many and I'm struggling. I swear I've never felt the urgency or desperation of wanting to crawl out the hell hole that is my life. This is a scary new feeling. You are probably like I didn't come here to read about your problems. Well, cut me some slack I am having a hard time. I'm just curious when will I have a break through and just grab my future. I guess this is what every person is hoping. They are waiting for a calling to overpower all their limitations. I for one am still hanging in there until my door to come swinging wide open. I am ready. I am so rea--dy!!!!!

Got to love that desperation talking. I am grateful for my life even if it is smelling like a pile of poo in the sun. I mean really I get it life really stinks, but come on does it have to hit you full force all the time. I am quite surprise I am sane enough to be typing this kind of stuff. Well, there are no remedies for a mind in turmoil. Nothing can buy this though money sure will help most if not all our situations. It got me thinking about the lottery again. I'm scare to win and I'm scare to be poor. It is a hilariously painful conflict. I mean what kind of sick joke is this?! One aspect I just exchange one set of problems for another. Why?! I'm going to cap off this writing. Not enough sleep and too much stress. I shouldn't be trying to communicate. Lol.