Talk about it! Rant at blahtherapy.com

Have a problem? Talk about it! Rant free at blahtherapy.com. I sound so promotional, but I'm passing this along for those who are in need and have no one to talk to or they lack confidence to talk face to face with someone. Basically, it is a chat for people who pair up with random anonymous listeners. If you happen to want to help people you can also become a listener. I for one am a listener most of the time, but it does some good to vent. Depression and the likes are no good so go out there because someone does care about you! You are worth it!

How do you let someone you love fall? regret and the lightworker #2

      One of the more difficult times in life usually involves a love one. All this talk of ascension and our spiritual journey there are only a few articles out there that I have seen on this particular problem. Okay, so we are busy on our path and trying to busy ourselves. Then a major road block, our loved ones are not doing the same. They are doing quite the opposite. They are caught up in personal fears that we cannot help with. For example, my mother has a fear of change and losing control. For her, it is better to try and maintain the illusion of control rather than letting go. The trouble is when we identify a life lesson we need to learn and we do not take it what ends up happening is that it cycles in again. It cycles in with more to lose. It will do it until we get a rude awakening that we need to change. 
     Of course, this change doesn't happen overnight! Hardly. Now moving back to the original topic. What if our loved ones were in an accident and we knew ahead of time we would try to save them right? See the thing with spirituality is that it is up to the individual person. We can see they are headed for the road of destruction in one sense by not learning what they need to learn, but that is just it. We have no say in their faith. It is not our battle and we must let people live how they want to live. For some this type of thinking is hard for the lightworker. I tell you this now that it is not your job anymore to help those kinds of people. After 2012, we have passed a mark in time that we should no longer hand hold people to their destination. As much as we would want to our calling during this time is different. We can't operate on the fear of losing them or the fear that we are not doing our responsibility. No one's awakening is our business. The information is out there for them to seek it. All you can do now is focus on you!
     There is a fine line between love and dependence. The wire is very thin for us to walk across. To emulate the love that is divine love. We need all kinds of strength often brought by hard knocks in life. Divine love as we know is without condition though it protects it also knows to let be. We must let be and take things for what it is. Everywhere around the world still you see this duality play out. There are individual struggles to break the duality and accept the two sides of one coin. Letting someone you love fall is that wire that we as lightworkers must gracefully walk across. That scale of sacrifice and selfishness. To some I have typed a whole lot of nothing and to others I may have helped as they are going through it at this time. Do not be alarm and trust yourself that this will pass. If you were looking for an easy answer well there are no easy answers here. You got to let them fall and hope they will fly.

Depression, relationship problems, etc...

Needing help finding direction?
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Well, you made it here so sit a while and talk with someone here! Probably mostly me, but I'm here to listen drop me an email or a comment and I'll try to get back. I work a lot on blahtherapy and offering my time to those in need.

Helpful things to get through divorce

1. Keeping your body healthy
 No sense in snogging down all those sweets or drowning your feelings with alcohol. Also, if you have habits like smoking or drugs stop. Why? It stresses you body out more and you'll get sick. Imagine the worst day of your life then being sick on top of that. It makes for one miserable being who will pass that misery onto some poor unsuspecting person. So eat healthy foods that support digestion because chances are stress will screw your eating and sleeping pattern. For foods look to nutrient dense foods that ground and center you. Not junk food! No amount of chips or chocolate is going to cure a stressful life event! As for sleep, relaxation music, a good soak, sniffing some therapeutic oils, soaking your feet, looking or being around beautiful things, and teas that calms the nerves (chamomile and linden blossom are my favorite).

2. Find someone who cares to rant about it
Bottling up emotions is never a good idea especially true for divorce. You are sad or pissed acknowledge it so that it doesn't later come out in court should you go to court. If you don't have a trusted friend or another family member pick up some expressive hobbies. You can write, blog, throw darts at said exes face, etc...something that expresses overwhelming feelings without resorting to breaking the law or harming of the self or others. No one needs jail time on top of divorce. If you have the funds seek professionals that can help you with the healing process. Just get the feelings out of your system.

3. Get on with it
Meaning don't dwell on it by doing nothing. The feelings worsen if you don't continue with your routine in life. Divorce can be an upsetting time, but we all have other obligations. No use in crying over spilled milk. Divorce happens. Staying in our room moping and feeling sorry is never going to resolve the pending bills and fees involved. So have a good cry or a scream, but don't drag it out. You will survive trust me. A routine or continuing a routine can add some stability to a hectic life.

 4. Don't forget the kids
Children are perceptive little things so do be careful about emotional outbursts or ugly rantings about said ex-spouse. Remember that your ex-spouse is still a parent to your child and dragging them in the middle is never wise. Children learn to cope with life through us and if you feel you can't really help them then don't be afraid to ask for help. Answer any questions they have about why this is happening and be mindful of their age. As I've said before, I'm an adult going through my parents divorce so I have the compass to deal with it though children are a little bit more helpless. Don't be too alarm when your kid starts acting out in school or misbehaving in general after a divorce. You can get together with them and do various activities to help them along and it will help you to.

5. Do what you gotta do to get the divorce in order
Don't neglect court dates or the necessary paperwork. Avoid getting a lawyer when you can but in the case of an ugly divorce I don't know what I can really say. This doesn't need to get bigger if you don't want it to. Oh, it can get pretty messy because lawyers like to sometimes stir the pot with things like who is in the wrong which if you take the bait just gives them more opportunities to keep charging.

6. Oh the custody battles...
One of the hardest things to troubleshoot. Divorce is one of the most selfish things that parents can do (sometimes though it is only for the best). Why is it selfish? It is basically ripping lives apart especially your children's. If they are too young to understand that is better but if they are oh boy. Custody battles should be for the children's own good. Keep in mind that it shouldn't be a power struggle or about how you two can't get along. It should be about what is best for them from housing to school. The children should be made to feel that they are still protected and not abandoned by either parents.

7. Don't rush into new relationships!
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Understand that divorce takes time to heal. You need to become stable within yourself before entering a new relationship because chances are if you are not ready you will just create havoc for yourself or your children. No one can save us from our own inner demons and it does a world of good to reflect on ourselves. An idea would be to throw a celebration about being single again. When we celebrate it we make something negative into positive. Order a cake congratulating yourself on your new found freedom.

Final words on this: The world keeps spinning and things will go on. If you place yourself in the grand scheme of things you will know that this moment that seems so horrendous will be only a tiny speck. When you see that this isn't so big you will likely make it through and come out all the better. Just think that you can survive and you will. This moment shall pass and your future is for you to decide. Divorce is a new beginning; a new way of being!

F*** my life! Divorce....enough said!

As a young adult going through my parents divorce. I can assure you the blow of divorce no matter the age on kids is still huge. Our lives got turned upside down in 48 hours. My life flashed before my eyes and my views of my parents changed instantly. You know that crystallizing moment when you see that the superhero your parents appeared are only child-like fabrications. My parents did well to conceal their marital problems, but really....I knew it was going to fall apart someday. People have some many reason why they can't work it out. Insecurities, paranoia, money, etc...that keeps them in a loop. Some feel an obligation or out of fear they stay in relationships that obviously are not working out. When thinking about how one works through a divorce as an adult kid...let me tell you. You are aware of things that little kids might pass by. As an adult you follow logic or try to use reasoning to find out why someone would do something. You encounter things like taking into consideration what someone may be feeling or thinking whereas a kid can act out without thinking things through they simply just feel. As an adult there are so many unsaid feelings and even during a divorce both parties filter themselves. For me, I had so many things I did want to say but for some reason or another I couldn't fully express them. I felt like if I acted hurt or angry that it would be immature. I guess it would be immature though it sure would beat this constant headache I'm feeling from keeping things inside. Listen people, if you can't work through your own self issues don't get into relationships. You'll only end up screwing your kid over whether they are five or twenty-five when you break up. Break ups usually are never friendly for anyone.